I am and always will be


I am posting this anonymously as I, along with my family, are planning our exit from CSI (note – NOT from Scientology, as we are all died-in-the-wool standard tech lovers).

I have been a Scientologist since shortly after I could walk and talk, roughly 40 years give or take a few.  I was in the Sea Org for over a decade and was upstat on almost every post I ever held. I am a Clear with a substantial amount of admin and tech training.  I am not going to give specifics on the posts I held or the reasons or circumstances of my departure from the Sea Org at this time, but I will include them in my official announcement when the time comes.

I come from a long line of old-time Scientologists, Sea Org members, and OTs. Again, I won’t go into too many specifics, but my parents and step-parents are all OT, some were at Saint Hill and on the Apollo, and some were close to LRH and Mary Sue.

I remember looking at photos of Old Saint Hill, the jam-packed course rooms, the VGIs students and PCs. I remember my parents telling me about the early days when the Academies and co-audits were so full they had to audit on the lawn or in the bathroom and they were happy to do it. This was a time when word of mouth brought people in, not crush-sell phone campaigns and glossy trifold mailers, glutting up the mailboxes. PCs were having wins all over the place. Auditors were being made in abundance. Tech was being delivered. I remember my mother’s face when she finished OT III – a total change of beingness. A new civilization was being created.

What happened?  So many bright and well-trained Scientologists have already posted answers to that to that question. But to summarize, arbitraries, hidden data lines, tech and policy alterations all disguised under the banner of “bright ideas” from David Miscavige; “the three swing FN,” “The Materials grade chart,” (isn’t there only one Grade Chart?), revision after revision of the Scientology basic books, alteration of LRH approved checksheets for Scientology auditor training, OT VII re-dos which never end, millions upon millions of dollars to buy and renovate buildings which will remain empty and lifeless.

And the end result of all this “tech correction” is failing orgs, and failing OTs.  How many of you know of OT VIIs and VIIIs who have died of cancer in recent years?  In my family alone, we have had two deaths, one suffering from a chronic degenerative disease, two bankruptcies and a home in foreclosure. All OT VIIs or VIIIs. My mother died mid OT VII, never able to realize her goal of going free. Is this representative of the “homo novis” that LRH describes in Dianetics?  Does it even remotely come close to the definition of OT? “knowing and willing cause over life, thought, matter, energy, space and time” ? Hardly.

How many of you can look around your org or mission and see anything that resembles the course rooms and co-audits in photos and stories of old Saint Hill? How many of you feel absolutely free in disseminating without reservation to anyone you meet knowing that they will enjoy the full benefits of the tech. Not too many, I bet.

Why is this?  Suppression.  Pure and simple suppression of the tech of Scientology and Dianetics.  Orgs and missions are there to make auditors and get PCs to clear and OT. That’s it.  They do not exist to sell “new releases,” or renovate buildings, or get people to come to events.

I have long observed these outpoints without really understanding the Why and Who.  I, as many others have, complied with the unwritten policy that we must never read or watch anything “anti-Scientology” on the internet. I recently decided to take off the blindfold and see for myself.

What I discovered was horrifying and heart-breaking (torture and criminal activity at the highest ecclesiastical levels of Scientology). Interestingly, my mind had been in a continual justification loop trying to rationalize all the other outpoints that I’ve mentioned above (and this not even touching on the heavy ethics, wholesale declares of upstat staff members, OTs and trained auditors or the heinous misapplication of disconnection policy that has ripped families apart for years). But, when I discovered that Debbie Cook, 30 year Scientologist, Class IX, tech lover, Ron lover, died-in-the-wool Scientologist, publicly spoke out against David Miscavige (NOT Scientology, mind you, let’s keep that straight). Debbie Cook, who I know and have worked with personally. She has no reason to falsely accuse DM of crimes against humanity, torture, kidnapping. I’m not going to get into Mike Rinder and Marty Rathbun’s testimonies as they’re well trained liars, and have lied to the press for years on behalf of CSI.
Then I added up all the outpoints I have noticed along the years, looked at the Chart of Human Evaluation, High Crimes policy, traits of a suppressive person, and I realized that David Miscavige is a suppressive person who is destroying the legacy that Ron has left us.  At the release of the Golden Age of Tech, David Miscaviage claimed to have finally achieved KSW point number 1, having the technology. LRH himself said it was accomplished long ago. So, who’s right?

I say LRH.

When I envision “a civilization without insanity, without criminals and without war, where the able can prosper and honest beings can have rights, and where man is free to rise to greater heights,” I do not imagine an organization which disseminates squirrel tech and which uses torture to enforce compliance.

This is not my church. This is not the Church of Scientology.

CSI has become a squirrel group, a suppressive group.

So, it is for all of the reasons above, and all of the details that I have not yet revealed, that I am severing ties with CSI. I am and will always be a practicing Scientologist.

When it is safe and practical for my family, I will be giving more details and identities.